Saturday, January 29, 2011

{being still}

we live in a world that's rarely silent.
streets are constantly filled with cars, we drive around with music playing, when we're home, we are watching tv, and especially being a girl, we like to talk a lot.

noise isn't bad in itself, but lately i've been wondering if i'm quiet enough.

i don't sit well.  i like to be doing things.  i would rather be busy than not.  i work 3 part time jobs, i am a full time grad student, i try to get involved with lots of things, and i don't think that these things are inherently bad.  i actually think it's good!  still, i've been realizing more and more i need to be quiet more often.

i think i miss things.  i wake up to the sound of the alarm clock and drive to work with the radio on.  i miss sunrises, i miss the sound of falling snow, i miss the sound of the rain.  at school, i like to talk to my friends, but i think sometimes i miss what people are really saying.  i like to get home, turn on pandora or watch tv, and i wonder if i miss some of my own thoughts (and i'm aware that's kind of weird to think about, but even that idea... are we missing ideas and inspiration?)

finally, i think sometimes i miss things God is trying to show me.  the verse 1 kings 19:11-12 comes to mind:

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

i don't think i give myself the opportunity enough to be quiet and hear God's whisper.  i think of how much i'm missing out, and realize i need this.  i need to be quiet and still.  now just to figure out how to do that....

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