{adventures of an old car}

today's post is about my lovely car.

her name is brownie (due to the hue that covers her inside and out... and she's from brown honda so she's got it tattooed on as what i refer to as her 'tramp stamp' )

if you can't tell from the pictures, she's an old girl... older than the freshmen and some of the sophomores in college to be more exact.  she would prefer to live in florida where it's nice and warm (although i'm glad we don't because she doesn't have ac) because in the winter, her joints get bad.

example a: as of recent, i've noticed when brownie goes over some bumps, she does this nice little creak, not totally unlike your grandma's joints.  it's not horribly loud, but i try to be a good car owner, so i took it somewhere in lex to get it looked at.  i took her in thinking 'oh, just a simple spring problem'. ha. jokes.  the nice young man (probably younger than brownie herself) came out and started rambling on and on about all this and that wrong with her.  all i saw was the end total: $2019.71.

i about passed out on the floor.

i wanted to say "did you see the sweet pink duct tape holding her siding on while the epoxy dries? have you ever looked at a kelly blue book value for a 92 honda accord?  have you looked up the top stolen cars in the united states?"  the answer to all those questions is: brownie's simply not worth $2019.17.

thankfully i have an amazing mechanic here in lexington... i probably see him more than i see some of my friends from back home, but that's fine.  if you ever have car problems, he's really the best.  he never exaggerates prices, is super quick, and honestly tells me when i don't need to have stuff done.  if you ever find yourself needing one, just ask me.  he's awesome and i would love to give him more business, i just can't keep giving him as much of mine!

say a prayer for brownie... she's an old girl.  i'm very thankful to have her, and one day, she'll make me appreciate a more reliable car so much more (although i will miss the character... just look at her one more time!)

{return to childhood}

last night was movie night.

rookie of the year was the film of choice

please note this is from 1993...

it was a blast from the past... gosh.  the choices in hairstyles, clothing... hilarious!  it also got me to thinking about favorite movies from when i was a kid.  i LOVED the mighty ducks series (as far as i was concerned, i was all the girls in that movie kicking the boys' butts) , apollo 13 (i wanted to be an astronaut until i realized no one really lands on the moon anymore... lame), and of course, all the disney movies (but i never wanted to be a princess... think more mulan here).

watching it and just reliving a piece of childhood was interesting.  it took me back to being 6 years old and having the world at my fingertips.  my backyard turned into everything from the wild west and little house on the prairie, to a spaceship to an ocean.  i would sit in my basement and pretend i was bob ross painting 'happy little trees' and cleaning my brush by smacking it all over things (also add i sprayed paint EVERYWHERE... the things my parents did to let my creativity flow!).  i was an olympic gymnast AND equestrian rider all thanks to the family couch (the back made a great balance beam and the arms made great horses...) and i was outside so much it wasn't even funny.

don't get me wrong... growing up is kinda fun.  i get to make my own choices (cake for breakfast anyone?), i feel responsible and on top of things and like a 'real' person, but gosh... being a kid was great.  i guess all i can do is hope that i can still maintain child-like awe and wonder, trust God like i trusted my parents to just take care of things when i was little, and hope that i can give my own kids (one day in the far far future...) the same kind of exciting, innocent childhood i had.

{being still}

we live in a world that's rarely silent.
streets are constantly filled with cars, we drive around with music playing, when we're home, we are watching tv, and especially being a girl, we like to talk a lot.

noise isn't bad in itself, but lately i've been wondering if i'm quiet enough.

i don't sit well.  i like to be doing things.  i would rather be busy than not.  i work 3 part time jobs, i am a full time grad student, i try to get involved with lots of things, and i don't think that these things are inherently bad.  i actually think it's good!  still, i've been realizing more and more i need to be quiet more often.

i think i miss things.  i wake up to the sound of the alarm clock and drive to work with the radio on.  i miss sunrises, i miss the sound of falling snow, i miss the sound of the rain.  at school, i like to talk to my friends, but i think sometimes i miss what people are really saying.  i like to get home, turn on pandora or watch tv, and i wonder if i miss some of my own thoughts (and i'm aware that's kind of weird to think about, but even that idea... are we missing ideas and inspiration?)

finally, i think sometimes i miss things God is trying to show me.  the verse 1 kings 19:11-12 comes to mind:

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.


i don't think i give myself the opportunity enough to be quiet and hear God's whisper.  i think of how much i'm missing out, and realize i need this.  i need to be quiet and still.  now just to figure out how to do that....

{class of friends}

i have such a unique group of people i go to school with.

it's great because we are not just classmates, but we're friends.
that doesn't happen a lot with school.  sure, you spend a lot of time with those people, and you obviously have similar interests since you're going to school for the same thing, but i'm very blessed... at eku, i feel like our class has something special.

we like each other.

like genuinely we like hanging out, laughing, and being weird together.

it's totally normal to come into the workroom that we're constantly in and see a group of girls huddled around a computer laughing at youtube videos.  before tests, we come up with transformer names for each other because that's totally normal.  we do things like go out to lunch, hang out at each other's houses, and be so loud and obnoxious people stare at us as we go down the hallways.

it's great.  it makes school more than just a place to come and learn.  i feel like i have girls who back me up, challenge my thinking, help me to become a better therapist, and just be there for me.

i'm so blessed with the girls i get to spend all day every day with and i'm so thankful for all the joy they bring to my life

{confession}

i have a confession to make.

it's slightly lame, so don't make fun...

a while back, i tried this stuff that was on sale at cvs.  it's called organix self-heating coconut oil and it was supposed to make my hair more moisturizing or something.  it did make my hair feel good, but better than that, it smelled amazing!

fast forward to monday night...

i had to sit through a lovely, lovely (emphasis here) night class and had just been in a mood all day, and i had to stop at walmart to get some stuff for therapy.  i found the coconut conditioner on sale!

you can call me lame and make fun of me, but it seriously turned my day around.  i used it and the whole bathroom smelled like an island, and considering ky is seeing it's fair share of snow right now, that was all i needed to smile!

let's hope i can find this on sale again!  preferably after another fun day... :)

{birthday weekend}

disclaimer: i am not the biggest fan of birthdays...

this is not to say that i don't like celebrating my birthday, BUT i tend to feel like your parents should be congratulated... let's be honest, they're the real reason most of us make it through another year!  they did the work!  still, it's nice to be congratulated on another year of life!

with that being said, last friday was my birthday and it was wonderful :)  on friday we got tons of snow, resulting in me being able to sleep in AND i don't have class so i was a lazy bum alllll day
that was followed with dinner with the boy at applebees (add to this we BOTH got free sundaes because our server didn't want to sing, and i was perfectly ok with that!) and then on to csf for the "coolest dance party ever".  i felt quite old being officially 24 and being surrounded by 17-18 year olds, but i got to hang out with friends, eat some snow cones, and made people (specifically ian) play 'just dance' and it was hilarious! *the boy who 'can't dance' even beat me and we all know how competitive i am... someone's been hiding sweet dance moves from me for the past few months....*

saturday came my birthday present: anberlin in columbus!!!!!

i love anberlin.  they have very few songs i don't love and we were supposed to see them at ichthus this summer but their bus broke down :(

they were in columbus which also means i got to be home for my birthday!

the concert was amazing...  hello sold out concert!

beginning the long, long wait for anberlin!

not the best shot, but one of the best bands to see in concert!

the concert was great... anberlin doesn't have bad songs to play and they did a great mix of old and new songs.  it was such a great way to spend my birthday, and i'm so thankful for great people in my life that i got to spend friday and saturday with!!!!

thank you everyone who made my birthday special!  i have the greatest people in my life hands down :)

I Love Snow!

ok.  so i know a lot of people in lexington are done with snow.

little known fact... i turn into a 5 year old when it snows.  and i love it.

have you ever looked at snow?  and i'm not talking about the 'ugh... it's snowing again outside' look but really looked at it... it's beautiful!  each one is different, each one has it's own little shapes, sizes, and design.  

you can't argue with anyone... God made snow really cool.

i also love snow because you get to play in it like a 5 year old and no one will say a darn thing!  recently, my roommates and i took advantage of a snow day and made a desperate plea for a certain uk player.  the ncaa failed to listen to our wonderful creative appeal, but whatev.  they're dumb, we're awesome.  enough said!

finally (and anyone who goes to uk will hate me for this one...) i get snow days when it snows.  

and to earn these snow days, i do snow dances, sleep with my pj's inside out and backwards, and throw an ice cube over my shoulder out into the yard.  yes, like i said.  i am 5 years old.

while i don't like the cold, i love the snow.  it's perfect and amazing and wonderful and i am so very very happy when it comes!

in addition, tonight it's the reason i'm missing dysphagia!  and i won't explain what that is (you can look it up if you're really intrigued) but it is a very, VERY wonderful thing i don't have to go to class tonight!!!!

{In Between}

one of the things i like about being on my own is the feeling of being independent.

even since i was little, i like doing things on my own, finding my own solutions, and making my own fixes to my problems.

this is where i find myself in an interesting position.

being a grad student, so many parts of my life feel 'grown-up' and adult-like.  i decide what and when i'll eat (my ymca kids were amazed i can actually and literally quite frequently eat cake for breakfast), i get myself to class on time and make sure i get all my work in on time, i have a speech client (that really makes me feel adultish), i have a job, i live on my own, i pay my bills... well... this is often when i feel like i'm not independent.

if you know me, i don't like asking for help.  it's a flaw of mine, because the joy of living in community is people are not only willing, but enjoy helping!  it's an interesting thing when you feel so independent, yet i still have to call on mommy and daddy when money is tight, there are problems i can't fix, or i just need a good cry.


thinking about all this on the way home from paying the lovely car insurance bill, i realized, i'm often like this with God.  i want to do things on my own.  i want to fix my own problems.  i want to be a big girl in His eyes, but really, while He created me as an independent, intelligent (at least i try to be!) and responsible (once again.. trying here too) person, he still wants me to need Him and go to Him on a daily, hourly, minutely basis.  it's so easy for me to say 'i've got this' and pretend i can do it all, but often, it ends in me timidly coming to Him and admitting i messed up again and i need Him to take that part of my life again.

i guess the way i'll always probably feel like i need certain things from my parents, even if it's just a hug, i will always even more so need Christ.  funny how things like paying car insurance can lead back to the realization i can't do life on my own...

{Adventures in Renting}

ahhh the joys of renting...

there are a few benefits to renting (we'll look at the positives first):
#1. it's cheap (maybe not over the long run, but in the short term when none of us make money sufficient to buy anything especially an investment like a house, it's great)
#2. you get to live with lots of people and it's super fun and there's rarely a dull moment
#3. you don't have to worry about maintenance.

ohhhh kellie just made a funny with #3

before i begin, please let me state that i love my roommates, i like our little townhouse (it isn't the nicest, but it's not bad for what we pay!), and i'm very thankful i have a roof over my head and i don't have to worry too much about things like break-ins or theft.

with that being said... maintenance is a funny thing around these parts.
i've come to discover that being a landlord has come to mean that you can be picky about what you fix and what you don't.  when we lived at waller, we fought tooth and nail for 1. a fridge that didn't seal or keep things cold (only a slight problem!?) and 2. an ac/heater unit that's only slightly important when your house is built with paper thin walls and we live in the land of bitter cold winters and sweltering summers
landlords number 2... they actually have written into their lease that they don't take care of drains.  i've become quite good at snaking drains, and katie's become quite the sink fixer.  they also tried to charge us for ac repairs and i'm currently on week 2 of waiting for my hot water heater to be fixed (cold showers = great in the summer... winter?  not so much...)

let me tell you.... youtube has some AWESOME videos on home diy and i'm becoming quite handy.

some would say this would prepare me for later in life when i own a house?  let's hope so... maybe then i'll call up johnnie and thank him for all the practice.

{Esther}

i have a daughter.
she is precious and has been in my life for 3 years.  she is 7  and she lives in uganda.

she is my little compassion child, but honestly, i see her more as my daughter than anything.

allow me to tell you a little bit about compassion :)

compassion is an organization for child sponsorship.  basically, for $38 a month, a person covers a child's food, education, health, spiritual needs.  each child is individually matched up with a sponsor who gets to communicate and get to know the child through letters.  you get to hear about who the child lives with, activities they enjoy, learn about their hopes and dreams, and occasionally, you get updated with a picture.  you can also send letters and pictures, as well as money on birthday's and christmas's for people who work with compassion (they use local churches.. how cool?) to buy things the child needs... school supplies, uniforms or clothes, and a few fun items.

my daughter is beautiful.  i'm partial, but look at her :)  she just has a smile that lights up her whole face.  she is also so smart.  she wants to be a nurse and help people.  her english and handwriting has gotten so good and i love the letters she writes me!  (let me add her favorite activity is dodgeball... this is when i knew we were perfect for each other)  she also includes her favorite bible verses and what she's learning in bible school, and it's so encouraging to see that this little girl who lives in a war-torn country sees God in every day things.

if you've ever thought about sponsoring a child, please visit www.compassion.com or ask me if you have any questions.  it's basically the greatest organization ever, and they are doing amazing things for the children of the world who have been lost and forgotten.  it's easy to see Christ in all of their beautiful little faces! 

'releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name'

{Oh Zumba}

i have decided it's time to start working out again...

i used to be very into running, but over the past few years, it's been harder and harder to motivate myself.

since i work at the y, i get a free pass and i figured i should start using it (love the y, pay's not great, so the free pass makes me feel like i'm getting more of my money's worth...)

after attempting to start running a few times and failing to keep it up, i decided to look into classes.  zumba has always sounded fun to me, so i decided to try it.  i went to a few classes and it was a blast!  sad part is neither of the teachers i went to have classes when i can go (thanks night class).
there is one teacher who teaches in the mornings who i decided to try out.

it is humorous.  i am the youngest by... oh... 20 years?  this makes the class so much more entertaining.  while i do often feel like i'm doing jazzercise to latin music, i get great joy and confidence boosts out of the fact that i look amazing shakin my hips next to 60 year olds.  add to this that quite a few of the women bust out neon colored belly dancer skirts, and my wednesday mornings are now hilarious.

'it's just because she has young hips' (as overheard from 2 of the old women who were apparently jealous of my dancing abilities ;) )

if you ever need a confidence boost, come hang out with me and my old lady zumba class.  it's fabulous!

{The Joys of COFFEE!}

i have many simple things that i adore... i am a simple girl who is not hard to make happy.
one of my favorite simple pleasures is coffee.

this may not come as a terrible shock... i'm a college student, coffee tends to be a staple, especially around exams and project due dates, but the more i drink it, the more i simply enjoy it!

it's a good wake up call in the morning, it can keep you up at night, and sometimes, i like to just drink it because it tastes good.
add to this that i love coffee shops.  they are just so cute.  i like starbucks, it's great and all, but it's so gosh darn overpriced (hello college student budget..), plus lexington has some really cute shops!  i may have coffee on the brain because i'm about to go get coffee with a friend at the lovely common grounds, AND i haven't had any coffee all day (this is impressive if you know me...)

regardless, i am happy we have coffee!  off to go try some fabulous, caffeine filled, cup of sweet goodness!

{Chocolate Kind of Day}

today has been one of those days... i don't like complaining and i don't mean for this blog to be a venting spot, but it's a good thing God invented chocolate because i need it today.

money is a stress of all college students i'm pretty sure, and i'm no exception.  between rent, food, utilities, school things (books, tuition, class expenses) and life in general, money seems to be a continual stressor.

i also woke up at 6 am and drove to work only to find that work was cancelled (awesome... no sleep for me!)

add to that i almost got killed (and i'm not exaggerating this) on the freeway today.  some trucker flew by me going over 80 on the freeway, then started getting into my lane before he had completely passed me.  i layed on the horn and slammed on my breaks (because not only did he cut me off, but he slowed down to 60 mph) and got in the other lane and quickly passed him.  he then continued to tail me for over 4 miles flashing his lights and being a big ol jerk.

i'm trying to find the joys in life today and things to be thankful.  it's not always easy, but it does puts things in perspective and changes how i think about things.  so here's my list of thanks:
snow... i love it, it's pretty and it makes me smile.
my eku girls... they are the most hilarious, funny people who make me laugh no matter what
uk basketball... in hope they beat auburn
my roommates... they listen to me when i cry and make me laugh and are just awesome girls
that boy of mine... he is so good to me and makes me a better person
brownie... she's a good ol girl and takes care of me (this is my car in case you were wondering...)
the fact i don't have class tomorrow... because that means sleep
i found one of my $100 books for $14... please see above whine about $
chocolate... enough said
finally...the ability to be thankful...  even when life is stressful and i feel like a failure or i'm stressed, i get reminded that Christ is bigger than all my worries and life goes on.  in the grand scheme of things, all my stressors are just little bumps on a very long journey.

{Meals for a Week!}

                i love soup.
this is wonderful because soup is 1. cheap and 2. easy and 3. makes large portions.
it is also the perfect winter food because it's surprisingly filling, but you can make it fairly healthy!

today is soup day due to the fact that i start classes tonight and we're supposed to get a huge storm (i was also taking up most of the freezer with my bags of frozen veggies... sorry roomies!)
this winter i've made taco soup (my personal favorite), chicken and dumplings, and today is venison vegetable soup!

venison... yes... bambi.  and this is no ordinary bambi...

this is the special deer whom i lovingly refer to as RKD.  i believe this is the last of good RKD (which is sad).  what does RKD stand for you ask?  why roadkill deer of course!
yes... this is the deer my father saw while driving around one of hilliards (yes... hilliard... they very suburban town i grew up in) many roundabouts that had been hit by a car, leaving it with broken legs.  my father, the animal lover (and avid hunter) called the police in hopes they would come put it out of it's misery.  they said they were busy for a few hours, he asked if he could do it (without discharging a gun... that's illegal and dangerous but i'll spare you the details) they said sure, do you want the meat?  he said of course, called my mother to 'put the plastic in the back of the odyssey, we're having bambi for dinner' and proceeded to put the deer out of it's misery.  *please note that people in hilliard rarely see deer, much less one killed and field dressed on the side of a busy street....this is my family whom i love and adore*

anyway... here's the end result of good ol RKD!  hope he treats me well with dinner for the next few weeks!

{Short and Simple}

Today is one of those days when I realize {again} I am glad that I can't fix things and only God can.

I don't like when people are stressed or upset or struggling, but often I can't find the words or actions to truly feel like I'm helping.  I realized today it's because I can say things and do things to show that I care or that I'm there, but the only way for a person to truly feel better and at peace, they have to do so with Christ.  This isn't an excuse for me to step away and stop doing things or saying things or most importantly, praying for them, but I can't fix... only God can.

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

{Rant of the Day}

there are some things in life that just shouldn't be difficult.

buying sweatpants is one of those things.

sweatpants also happen to be a staple of grad school and college in general, so there should be quite a plethora of them for very cheap as we have no money!

what happened to the days of comfortable pants?  when i want to work out or lounge around, i don't want to worry about the fact my butt is hanging out for the world to see.  i also don't want to look like a boy.  this is where the dilemma lies.

sweatpants currently seem to come in 2 varieties: so-tight-you-can-see-everything or so-big-you-have-no-curves. 

am i being dramatic?  really, i just want to be able to work out in sweatpants that fit me (don't even get me started on the length... i feel like all my pants are 6 inches too long!)



{also a plea to my fellow girls... leggings are very cute when worn under dresses, even long shirts, but i must tell you, they're not pants.  as much as we all desire them to be, they're not}

my rant is done.  my quest to find the perfect sweatpants will continue another day

{Only A Grad Student in Com Disorders...}

2 posts in 1 day... crazy, i know, but i think it's cool so i'm doing it :)

this story begins long ago in my first semester in the communication disorders program... i began discovering strange things about myself that i would never have discovered if i had not been in school for speech therapy.

first, while sitting in class one day talking about oral mech exams (basically just to make sure your normal and are capable of normal speech) my teacher started talking about this bump some people get in their hard palate called "rugae". this surprised me as being abnormal, since i have a bump on the roof of my mouth. sure enough, i am one of the lucky few to have this abnormality in the roof of my mouth which my mother (the speech teacher) failed to ever point out to me. thanks ma!
then, in audiology one day, we were learning how to test hearing. my group started laughing while testing me, and told me to stop messing around and just raise my hand. the problem was, i wasn't actually hearing any noise. diagnosis 2? low frequency hearing loss
then again in audiology, i discovered i have the ear canals of a child, but for some reason, i don't have a lot of ear infections (so at least that's good!)

finally, my newest diagnosis came today. i went to get a FEES (fiberoptic endoscope evaluation of swallowing) done. turns out i have way narrow nasal passages and my vocal folds don't come together... this is bad, as that usually makes one very breathy sounding, but for some reason, my voice is normal.

who knew!?

{sorry if you're not into speech stuff... this post is way speech related, but hey! that's what i'm in grad school for, right!?}

{One of the many joys: Breaks}

there are many times i don't like being a student... exams, homework, late nights, weird hours, poor eating/workout habits... the list can continue, but when it comes to christmas break, spring break, fall break, or any other kind of break, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing!

i love breaks for many reasons. i work very very early during the school year (i wake up at 6 to go hang out with middle schoolers... future employers, this is dedication at it's best because not only is it early, but did you see 'middle schoolers'?). this means they get breaks too and i get to sleep in! mind you, waking up at 6 means if i make it til 8:30 or 9 i am so well rested it's not even funny!
i also love breaks because i don't have class work. that is pretty obvious, but who knew grad school would be hard for different reasons than undergrad? i don't have as much homework (thank you profs!) but the expectations are much higher. i have to do well on tests and it's not just the regurgitating stuff i did before, i have to legit know it.
reason #3 i love breaks? i get me time! i read books 1-5 of harry potter over break. i got to see my friends and family. i got to stay up late and watch movies (i chronically fall asleep during the school time, so it's a feat for me to stay awake through a whole movie!)

although i love my breaks dearly, the nerd in me is almost ready to go back to school. i like routines. i like seeing my friends from eku (i haven't heard a good eastern ky accent in FAR too long). i like my teachers- they're probably the best there are. i might even be excited about the classes i get to take (i may retract this statement in oh.... 3 weeks?)

regardless, it has been a wonderful break. it's one of the many perks about still being a student, but alas, my time has come to return to wallace 234 and spend my days in the same seat next to the same wonderful classmates!

wish me luck!

{blogs}

i don't know what to do with blogs but i like them a lot. my favorite are those blogs that just capture you and make you want to read more.

i don't know how these things work. i'm going to attempt to make this one cuter.

i'm just a grad student who's trying to figure this whole "independent" thing out. and let me tell you... it's not easy.

i think what i want this to be is a document of life through grad school. people always look back and say they wished they had it back right? so maybe if i keep this thing up i'll feel a little better about entering the real world... dun dun dun!

let's see how this works!