{tired}

i'm tired and worn out... i have 1 more month... 1 month separates me from being a student and being a working, responsible adult.  1 month.  that's crazy.  at the beginning of the year, that seemed so far away.  today i realized i have 1 more week at my internship.  1 more week with the kids.  1 more week of working before testing begins.

i am going to make it.  i can push through.  God will give me strength and endurance.  i see the light, i just have to get there.

{ckrh}

last semester i had the pleasure of working with a client who participated in therapeutic riding.  his family could see a huge growth in his muscle strength, coordination, verbal output, and overall happiness.

after they talked about it, i decided to look into volunteering and went through the training at central kentucky riding for hope.  it's a nonprofit organization at the horse park that does therapeutic riding for all ages and abilities.

from a young age, i was your typical girl.  i wanted a pony.  my parents calmly explained that i could own a horse if i saved a lot of money for the horse itself, boarding, food, lessons, a truck and trailer (the list can go on and on).  needless to say, i took riding lessons for a few years, but a horse was not in my future.

secretly, there is still a little girl inside of me who wants to grow up and have horses, but honestly, volunteering may be better.

every monday, i get off work, change, and head up 75 to the horse park.  i muck some stalls, love on some of my favorite horses, help with barn work, groom horses, pull and tack up horses for lessons, and i get to lead during a few lessons.  the kids are so fun.  seeing the joy on their faces when they're on top of the horse and how attentive they are to what's being taught is great.  today, the teacher was teaching horse body parts and asked a little girl if she had a tail like the horse.  she turned around to look at her rump and replied, 'i don't think so!'.  it was adorable.

i really love having a day where i get to serve others, but have fun doing it.  i get my horse fix (it's part of the reason i came to ky after all!), and it's a nice time to relax when school is getting crazy.

http://www.ckrh.org/

{waiting rooms}

i'm currently sitting at a facial and oral surgery suite waiting for ian to get out of surgery.

happy spring break to him, he's getting his wisdom teeth cut out.

i don't like the waiting.  it's been an hour, which i know isn't a long time, but it feels like a long time just sitting here.  i've tried to be productive.  i've finished my ktip assignment for student teaching, i've caught up on some random homework i've been putting off, i've sat here and prayed.  i'm just ready to see him.

waiting rooms are always interesting places though.  is it weird to like the hope and prayer surrounding them?

i just watched a high school boy (clearly nervous for his upcoming surgery) pray with his mom.  it was just precious.

i know lots of people have wisdom teeth surgery each year, but that doesn't change my nerves.  i'm ready to see my boyfriend, take him home, and watch him hopefully peacefully sleep...

{beauty in simplicity}

i'm drawn to things that are beautiful, but not in a done up, effortful way.  sure, i think a million dollar house is beautiful and the rockefeller tree all done up every year is beautiful, but they are forced beautiful. it's not natural.  it's not organic.

at midnight last night, i was letting stress and my emotions run my thoughts, not joy and peace.  then i got a text telling me to look outside, that i would see one of my favorite things.

it was snowing.  big, heavy, snowflakes.  and absolutely no wind.  just the heavy flakes gently falling to the ground.  i woke up this morning to a thick blanket of snow just covering everything perfectly.  have you ever listened when it's snowing?  if it's quiet, you can hear the snow falling...

i like those moments when God reminds me: stop.  slow down.  remember who I am and who I made you to be.  remember that in this moment, everything has stopped but the gentle falling of the snow and I see you.

{grad school}

i know grad school isn't supposed to be easy.  it's like the end of a marathon.  and really, quite literally.
i told one of my preschoolers the other day i have been in school for 20 years.  he thought it wasn't a real number of years a person can be in school.  i wish he was right!

it's so close... what separates me from grad school are a few projects, a few really big tests, and walking across that beautiful, beautiful stage for the last time.

part of me is nostalgic.  i have met and made friends with some of the most amazing people.  i have learned a ton, and i'm using it.  it's one of the best feelings to be able to do something and defend why you're doing it, and then seeing it help someone.

and honestly, i love my placement right now.  i never thought i'd like the schools.  it seemed more boring to me from the outside, opposed to the hospital, but i love kids.  i love getting to know them and learning about their passions and seeing their enthusiasm for life.  kids just want to have fun, and i want to have fun with them!  i made bouncy balls on thursday.  that was therapy.  how fun is that!?  i'm also with a supervisor who believes in me and encourages me and tells me she'll come beat me if i don't work with kids.  it's nice to feel like someone notices when you're doing a good job, and encourages your passions.  i also like the people i work with.  they don't treat me like a student teacher, they treat me like a professional who can make good decisions regarding the treatment of children on our caseloads.  i feel like a working adult, and it's nice.

still, i'm ready to graduate.  i'm ready to have 2 competency exams and a praxis exam out of the way.  i'm ready to celebrate with my classmates years and years and years of school over.  i'm ready for a job that pays money (man i love working 40 hours a week for free!).  i'm ready to not have homework and projects to come home to.

i know i will miss school to some degree.  i will miss my classmates and professors.  i will miss the semi-non adultness that comes with being in school, but i'm ready for my next adventure.  i'm ready.

{valentine's day}

here's the thing about valentine's day... even if i'm dating someone, it's not my favorite holiday.  i like the idea behind valentine's day- expressing love and appreciation for the people in your life, but i kind of feel like people blow it out of proportion.
valentine's day this year was nice... i worked and got to play valentine's day games with the kids and sugar them up and send them on their way, but also got some valentine's from some of my kids!  they're so sweet...
after work, i baked ian a pie.  i got a new pie plate and wanted to try it out, and valentine's day seemed like a perfect excuse!  the boy likes blackberries, so that's what he got!

we had a gift card (thanks mom and dad!) for applebees, so we went and had a nice dinner.  it's amazing how much of a routine you can get in when both people are in grad school, so it was nice to get sort of dressed up, and just get to eat and talk.
we finished up the night really exciting... brace yourself... ian helped me finish my resume.

yep.  we're that crazy!  the thing is, it was actually kind of fun and my resume looks nice!

i hope your day was full of appreciation for all the people that matter in your life.

and then i hope you celebrated mine and katie's favorite holiday: the day after valentine's day (50% off candy anyone!?!?!?)

{conflict}

if you know me, you know that usually, i'm not afraid of conflict.

at one point, one of my teachers told me if i decided i didn't want to be a speech therapist anymore, i had a future as a lawyer.  i took that as a compliment.

i'm not afraid to ask for a point back on an exam for something i thought i argued well, i'm not afraid to tell a parent or a patient what i think about their current issue, and i'm pretty vocal about my opinions.  i think talking things out and expressing ideas is helpful, necessary, and honestly, sometimes fun.

there are a few things i hate confrontation about.  without getting into it too much, monday i have to have confrontation for one of those things and i'm already dreading it.  i need to ask someone to fix something that wasn't done right the first time, even though they think it was.  it's not in an area i know a lot about, but i'm still pretty sure i'm right.

this isn't fun for me.  i really wish i was arguing back for points, but sadly, no points have been awarded :(

say a prayer for some confidence for me if you don't mind!